


Move Along

by Simplistically_content



Series: To Become a Pack... [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Guilt, Stiles tying up a few loose ends, short and sweet, talks are had
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-10
Updated: 2013-07-10
Packaged: 2017-12-18 09:52:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/878476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Simplistically_content/pseuds/Simplistically_content
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two weeks after he leaves the hospital, Stiles decides to finally get a few key parts of his life straightened out once and for all. They are, perhaps, not the most important parts right now, but they're still key.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Move Along

**Author's Note:**

> It might not be what you wanted as a new post for the series but I'm trying to fill out the summer, give as much backstory as possible. I have another written but I want at least two in hand so I'll be writing another between now and Saturday (when I find the time, eesh) and when it's done, I'll either post it, or the one I have already.
> 
> A note though, the episode Motel California was awesome, and very inspiring :)

Stiles was aware of a lot of things.

He was aware of how much his friendship with Scott had changed since he was captured and subsequently released and his decision to join Derek’s pack became official. He was aware of how bitter Scott was that Stiles chose Derek over him despite everything they’d been through and he was acutely aware of how much Scott was leaning on him indirectly to make up some ground - in other words, he’d talked to his mom who talk to Stiles’ dad who had brought up the subject of Scott more than a few times over dinner.

Stiles was also aware that Scott wasn’t the only person that had been treating him differently since his hospital release. Whenever he was at Derek’s place, he noticed Erica and Boyd shying away from him, treating him with all the carefulness that would be required when handling fine china. He had a pretty decent idea of why they treated him like they did and he understood, but he also thought their guilt was ill-placed. They were guilty because they’d watched him be tortured by Argent; beaten brutally, among other things Stiles didn’t really want to think about, and they’d been unable to do anything about it, trapped and being tortured as they were. So Stiles understood, because in their position, he’d probably feel the same way, but that didn’t stop him from thinking that it was bullshit and unnecessary.

He’d talked it over with Derek privately and the alpha admitted to not knowing quite how to proceed, but he did recommend Stiles either talk to them directly or give them some kind of sign, some behaviour that showed them he didn’t blame them. They needed reassurance, because Stiles was now pack and they’d been put in a position where they weren’t able to help pack, their guilt was magnified ten-fold. So Stiles resolved to talk to them.

Adding onto the above, Allison Argent’s behaviour whenever she was around Stiles was also something he was aware of. Her guilt was so much more prominent than the beta’s, because she had been in a position to help him, she just hadn’t been strong enough and her mental state was such that going against her Grandfather was asking too much of an already fragile mind. That’s not to say Stiles wasn’t bitter. He had been, for the longest time (for Stiles at least, which wasn’t very long admittedly). Running into her for the tenth time in as many days out and about, in the grocery store, at the mall (once, his dad caved and gave him clothes money - now that was a harrowing experience), and finally when he’d just been at the lacrosse field with Isaac when she had arrived with Scott, Lydia and Jackson (another story entirely), Stiles’ bitter pill had long since dissolved and - to stretch a metaphor - flushed out of his system, and he was just tired.

Tired of seeing her giving him guilty looks, tired of seeing Scott’s subsequent pointed looks, tired of all the looks and the feelings and everything, that the next time he caught her out alone, he invited her for coffee, giving Derek a nod, telling his alpha that it was okay and that he shouldn’t worry (Derek ignored this, of course, and remained within hearing distance at all times).

“Why am I here?” she asked when they were sitting down, a ridiculously complicated caffeinated concoction sitting in front of both of them on the table.

“Why do you think you’re here?” Stiles asked, curious about the answer.

“I have no idea,” she sighed. “I don’t even know how you can stand to look at me, let alone have a coffee with me.”

“See,” he said, pointing the wooden stirrer he’d just been tapping against the rim of his mug at her. “That’s why you’re here. Not because what you just said is true, but because you think it’s true.”

“Stiles-”

“No, hear me out. Yes, I was pissed, for a long time.”

“You got out of the hospital two weeks ago,” she pointed out and he waved the comment away.

“For me, two weeks is a long, long time. And I was pissed, at you, your dad, at Scott... but I never lost sight of the fact that you didn’t hurt me, your Grandpa did. Chris didn’t hurt me, his father did.”

“And Scott?”

“Scott and I have our own issues, but we’ll get there.” he took a sip of his scalding drink and grimaced, putting it back down to cool some more. “The point is, yes, I was pissed as hell,” he coughed when he saw a kid approaching with his mom. “But,” he continued. “I know who was to blame. I have this uncanny ability to be remarkably rational when I need to be,” he points out helpfully. “I know how screwed up you were over your mom,” he fought so damn hard to keep all inflection out of his voice at that moment because that was another conversation all on its own, and not one to be had for a long while yet. “I know your Grandpa was using you to get to us, and Allison,” he reached across the table and put his hand over hers. “I don’t blame you for what he did. I never have.” He watched her flinch but noted with approval that she didn’t pull her hand away.

“I don’t see how you can’t,” she said finally and he saw a tear running down the side of her face. “When he told... when he bragged,” she shuddered. “To me afterwards, he said you were already with them. Derek turning you was only a matter of time, you were a lost cause and should be treated as though you were already the same as them; killers and monsters. Stiles, I was so lost. I knew... I knew you weren’t like that. I knew Scott wasn’t like that... and the others...”

“I won’t presume to speak for Isaac, Erica and Boyd, because they’re big enough to speak for themselves; you’ll have to approach them yourself to get that one out in the open but for me, I don’t blame you. Your Grandpa was so manipulative he convinced your aunt that burning down the Hale house, with innocent people inside, humans, wolves... adults and children, was her idea. He never stuck to the code and never had any intention of having you stick to it either. He wanted another Kate, and after Peter killed her, Gerard wanted all the Hale’s dead and buried. You weren’t to blame, and neither myself, nor Derek, blames you. Though Derek might still harbour some ill will, so tread lightly there,” he mused as an afterthought and she snorted.

“If I can ever have a civil conversation with him it’ll be a miracle on both our parts.”

“Very true,” he agreed. “But he let me come in here with you alone so that says something.” She shrugged and they fell into silence for all of two minutes before Stiles spoke up again. “Derek doesn’t trust easily,” he admitted. “He thinks he can’t afford to, and I understand why he thinks that considering what he’s lost and how its been lost. The pack right now is small and precarious, but we’re getting into the groove of things and I hope that one day we’ll have peace for long enough that I can experience what it means to be a part of a stable, peaceful pack.”

“I hope you achieve it,” she said and he knew she wasn’t lying. “But why are you telling me this? I’m human, for one, a hunter for two and Scott’s...” she trailed off and made a face, gesturing with her hands until he nodded, lips twitching.

“It’s Derek’s job to care for the pack as an Alpha in the present. I’m trying to solidify our standing for the future. I want my pack to grow and be successful, I want Scott to be a part of that and with Scott, comes you too. I think you could be a brilliant pack member, Scott might actually learn something new if he joined. And there’s Lydia, and maybe Danny,” he frowned thoughtfully. “She seemed intent on having someone human that wasn’t already connected to the pack or hunting in the know so she could have impartial opinions, but if he’s ever sworn in, I’d like for him to be a part of the pack too.”

“It sounds like you’re trying to rebuild the Hale pack single handedly,” she commented quietly, smiling like she knew something he didn’t. “It’s nice.”

“I want,” he paused and thought about it. What did he want? Really? He wanted the pack, he wanted it to succeed, he wanted to build a new family while keeping his old one. He wanted somewhere he can call home and have it feel like something he helped build rather than something he was just a part of.

He wanted to give Derek something resembling what he’d lost.

He smiled at Allison and sipped his coffee. “Maybe,” he said finally.

When he leaves the coffee shop and turns the corner to see Derek stood leaning against the Camaro, waiting, he raises an eyebrow as he walks around to the passenger door. Derek doesn’t say a word but as they drive off, Stiles lets his head fall back onto the headrest and his eyes close and he feels Derek’s hand reach out and grasp the back of his neck lightly but securely, squeezing, saying something Stiles knew Derek didn’t have words for.

It was the day after his coffee with Allison that Stiles got home and found Erica sitting cross-legged on his bed, flicking through one of his comics. His dad had told him she was there already - she had actually come through the front door - so he wasn’t surprised, just surprised she was there, making contact with him given her behaviour since...

“You know,” he said, leaning against his door just watching her. “Batman got his ass kicked every now and then too...” he caught the small, sad smile on her painted lips but she didn’t look up until he pushed away from the door, closing it behind him and settling on the bed, cross-legged and facing her. “It like,” he gestures randomly with his hand. “Humbles him, makes him remember he’s not invincible, so keeps him cautious in future.”

“Batman wasn’t raped,” she said quietly and he reached out to tuck her hair behind her ear.

“Do I look like a victim to you?” he asked, eyebrow raised, and she looked up at him, studying him intently for the longest minute before averting her eyes again, shaking her head.

“But you were,” she said, and it’s true, he was.

“I didn’t let it define me, I’d never do that. I wouldn’t give him that much power over me, over you, or over Boyd. We’re pack, that’s the be all and end all of it. We’re a family, we’re there for eachother no matter what we go through or what we see each other going through, whether we could help or whether we were just forced to watch. How do you think I felt when I couldn’t help either of you from being electrocuted? Do you know how disappointed in myself I was for not being able to do even that much for you? To give you a fighting chance at least?”

“We’re werewolves!” she said with desperation in her tone. “We heal quickly!”

“And I’m human, I don’t, but I’m still a part of a werewolf pack. The time it takes for me to heal doesn’t matter; I still felt like I failed you and Boyd for not getting you out of there or getting help sooner. If something had’ve happened to you, I don’t know what I would’ve done.”

“You weren’t even pack then,” she sighed, closing the comic she’d been looking at and putting it on the bedside table.

“I was pack-adjacent,” he said with a grin. “I didn’t feel like that because you were a part of the pack, I felt like that because I have a conscience, because I couldn’t bare to sit by and watch two people - two innocent people - be tortured for no reason other than, effectively, their race. Because that’s all it was. In Gerard’s mind, he’s Hitler and werewolves are Jews.”

“That’s a very basic way of looking at the conflict between wolves and hunters,” she gave him a weird look but he shrugged.

“It fits. But I need you to understand that I don’t blame you for not being able to help me, I never have and I never will. You should know that by now...”

They ended up falling asleep on his bed, on top of the covers, Erica burying her face in his neck, and if his Dad looked in on them, he didn’t have the heart to wake them so they slept until morning, Erica leaving with a new spark of belief that she really wasn’t to blame for anything.

Boyd was... getting Boyd alone was difficult, because they never ran into each other away from Derek’s and when they saw each other at Derek’s, they never had privacy, so Stiles, during on of the pack meetings, sat across from Boyd, barely listening to a word Derek was saying, and folded his arms across his chest.

“So when are you going to stop beating yourself up about not being able to help me when Gerard had me?” he asked, totally interrupting his alpha and catching Boyd off guard to a point where the beta stared at him with wide eyes that were slightly fearful, definitely full of regret and guilt. “Because I’ve talked Allison around, I’ve talked Erica around, but you’re avoiding the conversation because... I don’t know, maybe you’re learning a bit too much from Derek about self-hatred and wallowing in self-pity, but that’s a look that only Derek seems to pull off with ease - no offense,” he cast a glance at Derek, who was giving him an annoyed look before he turned back to Boyd. “Now I’m gonna make it clear for you, right now. I don’t blame you for not being able to help me, or stop Gerard, or anything. In fact, to begin with, I blamed myself for not being able to help you, until I realised I had absolutely no control over the situation at all and werewolf or not, neither did you. So stop beating yourself up, stop with the mental anguish, your negative emotions make Isaac uncomfortable and seriously, no one wants to see that face frown.” he held a hand out, gesturing to Isaac, who everyone turned to look out, and who promptly flushed at the attention, giving Stiles an annoyed look. Stiles just winked.

“It’s not that simple,” Boyd sighed. “You’re human,” he stressed. “We’re supposed to protect the humans we come into contact with.”

“But you were chained up and hooked up to the mains... how’d you figure you could’ve gotten free of that? Especially given the fact that a few months earlier, Derek was in that same position and he couldn’t get himself free either. Of course, he was a beta then too.” He didn’t look at the alpha, who he knew was giving him a lethal glare. “Just, stop with the self induced guilt trip. I don’t blame you, your alpha doesn’t blame you and neither does your pack, Peter if you open your mouth so help me God I’ll find a way to shut it permanently.”

At look at the older, mentally unstable wolf showed him to be giving Stiles an innocent smile that Stiles didn’t buy for a second but he was grateful for because it made Boyd snort, along with Isaac and Erica.

“Can we get back to the meeting now?” Derek grouched (that’s a thing, Stiles discovered, that Derek was very good at doing). He gave Boyd a raised eyebrow and watched his beta eye Stiles for a few seconds in silence before he nodded once. Stiles was beaming, very pleased with himself and the meeting went on.

The Alpha Pack.

Stiles sighed silently. He just wanted time to get his pack in order. Was that too much to ask?

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Let me know what you think, give me kudos, don't, it's up to you! If you think it's a worthy piece of this series' puzzle, I would very much like to hear from you :)
> 
> In the mean time, links to my tumblr's are floating around my works. Come check it out!


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